First and Last
by Zana Zira
Summary: It's been years since Aerith last saw Zack, years since he promised her he'd always come back for her. She can't forget him, and she wants to believe in him with all her heart, but how can she trust in his promise when the Planet itself is telling her she'll never see him again? Set at the end of Crisis Core. Written for Unattainable Dreams' "First Kiss" Prompt Exchange Challenge.


**Author's Note: This one-shot was written for _Unattainable Dreams_' "First Kiss" prompt challenge. The prompt was, "Never choose death over the one you love, protect them and love them with all you have." -Freedert (DNAngel). I hope you enjoy this little Zerith fic, sad though it may be.**

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The air that blew through the Sector Seven slums was thick with smog, hot and filled with the stench of rotting garbage. The weather reports had said that it was about to rain up on the Plate right now, but that didn't matter; none of the rainwater ever reached the slums except what drained down from the sewer lines above, and by then it was too filthy to do anyone any good.

As the clouds continued to gather above the steel surface of the Plate on which Midgar sat, a young girl in a long pink dress slowly made her way down the overcrowded streets, twisting a curl of reddish-brown hair around her finger as she went. She was careful to keep out of the artificial light as much as she could while she strode down the empty alleyways on the way to the outskirts of town; she wasn't technically supposed to be here right now, so it was best that as few people as possible spotted her. When she finally reached the ancient church that sat on its own near the edge of Sector Seven, Aerith breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, pushing the doors open and going inside before bolting them shut behind her.

The church was the same as the last time she had seen it, dim and dusty but somehow still very homey, with a large patch of gold-and-white lilies growing out of the center of the rotted wooden floor. The air in the church was always clean and cool, somehow managing to escape the mustiness and filth that completely permeated everything around it. In a few short strides that echoed loudly in the stillness, Aerith had reached the flowerbed and sat down in it, enjoying the rustle of the leaves and the sweet earthy smell that rose up around her when the flowers moved.

She peered up at a large hole in the ceiling, and her smile slowly faded. She could see the rain starting to pour down from the sky up above the Plate, and inside she immediately began to feel that something was wrong. There was no reason for it; nothing unusual had happened lately, and in fact things had been going better than usual now that her flowers had begun to sell more regularly. She almost always had enough money for food now, and she had gotten to know many of the people in the slums thanks to her flower sales, so she shouldn't have had anything to complain about. Still, her heart began to race when a beam of light broke through the clouds, and the name of a man she hadn't seen in almost five years sprang to her mind unbidden.

"Zack…"

Tears pooled in her eyes without any warning. Zack wasn't coming back. She wasn't sure how she knew it, but she did; Zack was gone. She had sent her eighty-ninth letter to him only days ago, praying that it would reach him even though she knew that after so many years it wasn't likely. Aerith had fallen in love with Zack seven years before, and although it had hurt when he had stopped calling and seemingly disappeared from the face of the Planet, she had somehow known that he was alive. She had always hoped that perhaps he had just moved on to some other girl and forgotten her, even if she would never forget him. She _could_ never forget him, not even if she tried. Zack had been the first man she ever loved, and if things had gone a little differently she would have liked for him to have been the only one. But now, she sensed that he was gone forever, taken into the hands of the Lifestream to join the other fallen SOLDIERs he had once called friends.

"Zack…" she whispered again, holding her face in her hands and sobbing quietly. Tears ran between her fingers and dripped onto the flowers, adding a few more small pattering sounds to those already echoing down from the Plate above. Aerith shook her head, moaning in grief as she remembered how her mother had told her this would happen, how Zack was a no-good womanizer who was going to leave her when she needed him most.

"It can't be true!" she shouted through her tears, scowling at her mother's words despite the fact that the other woman was nowhere near her. "Zack isn't like that! He would never…" Her breath hitched in another sob, and her next words came out in a choked whisper. "Never leave me…" She remembered back to the last time she had seen Zack, just before he went on his mission to Nibelheim. The two of them had been sitting in the old park near the church, leaning close to each other and talking about nothing of any significance, when Zack had broken the news to her that he might be gone for a long time.

_"But I'll try to contact you as soon as I get there, okay Aer?" he asked worriedly, wrapping a muscular arm around her and pulling her close. Aerith just smiled, leaning into his embrace and enjoying the warmth and closeness._

_"I know you will, Zack. It's okay. I know you're a busy person. Just… Be careful, okay?"_

_"What do you mean? Are you worried?" Zack asked, a confident smirk on his lips._

_"Of course I am! I always worry about you when you're gone!"_

_"That's funny, 'cause _I_ always worry about _you_ when I'm gone." Aerith sighed and looked away from him, and Zack's smile disappeared, replaced by a worried frown._

_"Aerith? What's the matter? Did I say something wrong?"_

_"No, Zack, it's just…" She paused, thinking, before she spoke again. "My mother was telling me some things about my father, and how much she wishes he wouldn't have died trying to protect us, and… She said a man like you could only bring me heartache. That no matter what, you'll always end up trying to play the hero and leaving me for good." Zack's eyes widened._

_"Aerith, that's –"_

_"Don't worry, I didn't buy into it," she replied quickly with a sad smile. "But let me ask you something, Zack. My mother told me a phrase she lives by, something she said she wished she'd said to my father, and I'm going to repeat it to you now."_

_"Okay, shoot."_

_"'Never choose death over the one you love, protect them and love them with all you have.' She told me that men like my father always wind up choosing to act like a hero and die trying, and all it does is hurt the ones they leave behind. Whatever happens, Zack, I'll wait for you. So I want you to promise you'll come back to me too, okay? Can you promise you won't choose to sacrifice yourself so easily?"_

_"Oh, gods, Aerith," Zack said softly, pulling her to him and hugging her tightly while he laid his chin on her head. "Of course I'll come back to you. If I have any say in the matter, I promise I will. But let me tell _you_ something now. Your mom was wrong about me. No matter what happens, even if I die, it will _never_ be because I chose it over you. Even if I'm not here beside you, I'll always be looking out for you, okay? I swear it on all of my SOLDIER honor."_

_"Zack…" Aerith whispered, her eyes large and shining with tears. Zack placed his fingers under her chin, slowly tilting her head up while he lowered his own and touched his lips to hers ever so gently. When she didn't pull back, he deepened the kiss a bit, holding her as close to him as he possibly could without hurting her. Although it didn't last long, both of them were smiling brightly by the time they pulled apart. Aerith didn't know if she was Zack's first kiss, and if she wasn't she didn't want to know. But he had been hers, and she knew she would remember this moment for as long as she lived._

_"I love you, Zack," Aerith whispered, leaning her head on his chest and trailing her hand down his chest._

_"I love you too, Aerith."_

It hadn't been long after that when the calls stopped. Zack's last letter came a few days after he called her from Nibelheim. She had waited for years, never knowing where he was but believing he would come back, praying that he hadn't forgotten her. Now she would never know the answer, it seemed. When she had finally cried herself out, Aerith dried her face on her dress, wiping as much evidence of her tears from her face as she could, and started toward the door of the church. If she hurried, she could make it home before her mother returned from work and avoid having to talk about why she had been crying. She didn't want to have to hear the "I told you so!" she knew would be coming if she did.

Just before she pushed the door open, Aerith felt something warm on her face, almost like Zack's hand had felt whenever he touched her. She shook her head, not willing to let herself start imagining things, and scowled bitterly at the floor.

"He's gone, Aerith. Get over yourself and move on. He forgot you years ago anyway."

She pushed the door open and let it stay that way as she left, clutching her flower basket tightly and keeping her face neutral while she made her way back home. She never noticed the blurry figure of a SOLDIER First Class standing just inside the doors, his black hair billowing on an invisible breeze while he looked sadly after her.

"No, Aerith," he whispered quietly, touching the hilt of the enormous broadsword strapped to his back. "I never forgot you. And I never _will_ forget you. Like I promised, I'll always be looking out for you. I swear on my SOLDIER honor." He smiled brightly, closing his eyes and remembering back to the day he had made that promise. "And just so you know, you were _my_ first kiss, too."


End file.
